2015-16 Season predictions! 2015-16 Season predictions!

Somebody will score lots of goals, while others will not and feel shame.

Others will get many assists. Yet others will fail to aid their fellow man and question their abilities as productive citizens.

Still, another will rack up penalty minutes and refrain from cutting his locks, while more gentlemanly players enjoy the freedom of skating around. The aforementioned hirsute man will be confined to the bin of sin for large portions of the games. While in the box, he will dream of summers on the beach where his flowing mane will be the envy of many.

A few masked men will commit grand larceny all season and get  low GAAs, while others with get lit up like a tree at Christmas.

Some masked men (cliche) will leave players looking to the heavens after amazing saves, but other goalkeepers will lay upon the ice after having been “beaten between the legs” on multiple occasions. (It’s not what you think it means.)

One team will win and another will lose.

Records will be set and others broken.

Some fans will cheer wildly to stoke the players, whereas others will sit upon their mitts and repress the urge to show emotion. Hence quality libations should be put forth at reasonable prices to set the fans at ease.

With the arrival of new players from different places, we predict increased sales of dictionaries as fans try to understand new and colorful words said after missed scoring chances.

​Hope this made you laugh. Real predictions will be coming August 28​